[Intro]
C Am Dm G
[Verse]
C 
   Third shot down, I'm in trouble 
     Am 
I'm a   newly single man, seein' double 
Dm 
  Fake a smile for all my friends 
     G 
Then go home alone around 2 A.M.  
     C 
Then, stumble through the front door, gone as it gets 
Am 
   Flip the kitchen light on, there it is 
Dm 
   On the fridge, just my luck 
G 
"Read this if you're drunk"
[Chorus]
       C 
Don't think about it, mister 
        Am 
Don't even touch your phone 
   Dm 
I know you think you miss her 
      G 
But I promise you, you don't 
        C 
There's healing in the lonely 
    Am 
Sit back, kick off your boots 
            Dm 
And you'll thank me in the morning 
          G 
Like you always do 
N.C. 
Signed, sober you 
  
P.S.
[Verse]
C                                                       Am 
   There's pizza in the freezer, Dumb and Dumber on the TV 
  
It's so stupid, that's what you'd be 
Dm 
   To go diggin' through her Instagram 
            G 
If you're thinkin' 'bout that, read this again
[Chorus]
       C 
Don't think about it, mister 
       Am 
Don't even touch your phone 
  Dm 
I know you think you miss her 
       G 
But I promise you, you don't 
          C 
There's healing in the lonely 
    Am 
Sit back, kick off your boots 
           Dm 
And you'll thank me in the morning 
         G 
Like you always do 
  
Signed, sober you
[Interlude]
Dm     G 
Signed, sober you
[Bridge]
C 
Yeah, well remember last time that you hit her up 
Am 
You heard some other guy, how much does that suck? 
Dm 
That set you back a month, yeah, trust me, old friend 
G 
You don't wanna go down that road again
[Chorus]
      C 
Don't think about it, mister 
      Am 
Don't even touch your phone 
   Dm 
I know you wanna kiss her 
      G 
But I promise you, you don't 
        C 
There's healing in the lonely 
    Am 
Sit back, kick off your boots 
           Dm 
And you'll thank me in the morning 
          G 
Like you always do 
               C 
Signed, sober you