[Verse]
G 
And if your heart stops beating 
D 
I'll be here wondering 
         Em              C 
Did you get what you deserve? 
                    G 
The ending of your life and if you get to heaven 
D 
I'll be here waiting, babe 
         Em                   C 
Did you get what you deserve? 
                    Am 
The end, and if your life wont wait 
          C           D 
Then your heart can't take this
[Chorus]
 G                     D 
Have you heard the news that you're dead? 
  C 
No one ever had much nice to say 
       D#                   D7 
I think they never liked you anyway 
 G                    D 
Oh take me from the hospital bed 
     C 
Wouldn't it be grand? It ain't exactly what you planned. 
      D# 
And wouldn't it be great 
   Dsus2      G 
If we were dead? 
     G 
Ohh dead.
[Verse]
G 
Tongue-tied and oh so squeamish 
D 
You never fell in love 
     Em                    C 
Did you get what you deserve?  
                   G 
The ending of your life 
               G 
And if you get to heaven 
     D 
I'll be here waiting, babe 
     Em                 C 
Did you get what you deserve? 
                         Am 
The end, and if your life won't wait 
         C            D 
Then your heart can't take this
[Chorus]
 G                 D 
Have you heard the news that you're dead? 
  C 
No one ever had much nice to say 
       D#              D7 
I think they never liked you anyway 
 G                    D 
Oh take me from the hospital bed 
     C 
Wouldn't it be grand to take a pistol by the hand? 
          D# 
And wouldn't it be great 
   Dsus2 
If we were dead?
[Verse]
 Am                    C 
And in my honest observation 
              Am 
During this operation 
                 C   G            D 
Found a complication in your heart 
                 Am          C         G         D 
So long, 'cause now you've got (now you've got) 
          Em 
Maybe just 2 weeks to live 
              Em                         D 
Is that the most the both of you can give?
[Solo]
G  D  Em  C x2

One, two, one two three four!
[Interlude]
G 
LA LA LA LA LA! 
D 
LA LA LA LA LA LA! 
 C              D 
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! 
Well come on, 
 G 
LA LA LA LA LA! 
 D 
LA LA LA LA LA LA! 
   C              D 
LA LA LA LA LA LA LA! 
Oh motherfucker,
[Outro]
     G               D 
If life ain't just a joke (LA LA LA LA LA!) 
                 C 
Then why are we laughing? (LA LA LA LA LA LA!) 
                     D 
If life ain't just a joke (LA LA LA LA LA!) 
                  G 
Then why are we laughing? 
                     D 
If life ain't just a joke (LA LA LA LA LA!) 
                 C 
Then why are we laughing? (LA LA LA LA LA LA!) 
                        D 
If life ain't just a joke (LA LA LA LA LA!) 
                  G 
Then why am I dead? 
G 
DEAD!