[Intro]
C Am Dm G
[Strophe]
C 
   Third shot down, I'm in trouble 
     Am 
I'm a   newly single man, seein'
 double 
I'm a   newly single man, seein' double 
Dm 
  Fake a smile for all my friends 
     G 
Then go home alone around 2 A.M.  
     C 
Then, stumble through the front door,
 gone as it gets 
Then, stumble through the front door, gone as it gets 
Am 
   Flip the kitchen light on, there
 it is 
   Flip the kitchen light on, there it is 
Dm 
   On the fridge, just my luck 
G 
"Read this if you're drunk"
[Refrain]
       C 
Don't think about it, mister 
        Am 
Don't even touch your phone 
   Dm 
I know you think you miss her 
      G 
But I promise you, you don't 
        C 
There's healing in the lonely 
    Am 
Sit back, kick off your boots 
            Dm 
And you'll thank me in the morning 
          G 
Like you always do 
N.C. 
Signed, sober you 
  
P.S.
[Strophe]
C                                    
   There's pizza in the freezer, Dumb
                   Am 
 and Dumber on the TV 
   There's pizza in the freezer, Dumb and Dumber on the TV 
  
It's so stupid, that's what you'd be
 
It's so stupid, that's what you'd be 
Dm 
   To go diggin' through her
 Instagram 
   To go diggin' through her Instagram 
            G 
If you're thinkin' 'bout that, read
 this again
If you're thinkin' 'bout that, read this again
[Refrain]
       C 
Don't think about it, mister 
       Am 
Don't even touch your phone 
  Dm 
I know you think you miss her 
       G 
But I promise you, you don't 
          C 
There's healing in the lonely 
    Am 
Sit back, kick off your boots 
           Dm 
And you'll thank me in the morning 
         G 
Like you always do 
  
Signed, sober you
[Interlude]
Dm     G 
Signed, sober you
[Pont]
C 
Yeah, well remember last time that
 you hit her up 
Yeah, well remember last time that you hit her up 
Am 
You heard some other guy, how much
 does that suck? 
You heard some other guy, how much does that suck? 
Dm 
That set you back a month, yeah,
 trust me, old friend 
That set you back a month, yeah, trust me, old friend 
G 
You don't wanna go down that road
 again
You don't wanna go down that road again
[Refrain]
      C 
Don't think about it, mister 
      Am 
Don't even touch your phone 
   Dm 
I know you wanna kiss her 
      G 
But I promise you, you don't 
        C 
There's healing in the lonely 
    Am 
Sit back, kick off your boots 
           Dm 
And you'll thank me in the morning 
          G 
Like you always do 
               C 
Signed, sober you