[Intro]
C      F     C/G     Em
[Estrofe]
         C       F          C/G   
It's about all the sad stuff. Just
      Em 
 picture a depressed onion cutting
 itself. 
It's about all the sad stuff. Just picture a depressed onion cutting itself. 
C      F     C/G          Em 
 
C      F     C/G     Em
[Estrofe]
        C                  F 
I met a homeless man named Rich 
C          G 
Isn't that terrible? 
         C               F 
I saw a flyer for a lost dog 
        Am                    Em 
And the dog didn't have any legs 
         C        F 
I saw a diabetic kid
   Am     G 
 trick-or-treating 
I saw a diabetic kid trick-or-treating 
    C              F 
I saw a giraffe who had a short neck
 
I saw a giraffe who had a short neck 
Am           G 
That was sad, or a deer
[Estrofe]
E        F           C        G 
I saw an old man get hit by a train 
          E                      F 
He didn't see it in the pouring rain 
                                     
     
He didn't see it in the pouring rain                                           
           C                      
He didn't hear me shout, "Look out
          G         E 
 for the train!" 
He didn't hear me shout, "Look out for the train!" 
  
Because I didn't say anything.   
C     F    C/G    Em 
 
C     F        C/G         Em 
I just thought to myself, "Ooh, this
 is gonna be sad." 
I just thought to myself, "Ooh, this is gonna be sad." 
C     F    C/G    Em 
           And it was. 
C     F    C/G    Em 
      I'm a genius.
[Estrofe]
        C                       F 
I saw a man with only one eye 
C       G 
In a 3D movie 
        C                         F 
I saw a little boy drop his ice cream
 cone 
I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone 
Am                           Em 
Directly on his mother's corpse 
        C                  F 
I saw a kitten stuck in a tree 
         Am                      
Then the kitten jumped off and he
 G 
 hung himself 
Then the kitten jumped off and he hung himself 
          C           
I saw a boy who had red
 F       Am      G 
 hair.
I saw a boy who had red hair.
[Estrofe]
E           F                
I went to a store looking for
 C            G 
 something to buy 
I went to a store looking for something to buy 
                     E             
But they only sold paintings of the
           F 
 same sad guy 
But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy 
    C                      G 
No, wait--this store sells mirrors! 
 
No, wait--this store sells mirrors!  
           E 
See what I did there? 
               C     Em    F    Fm 
Let's rock! No.
[Puente]
C   Em   F   Fm 
C   Em   F   Fm
(repeat through spoken section)

[Spoken]
  
The world's so sad, bros. Pain,
 genocide, war, sexism, racism.
The world's so sad, bros. Pain, genocide, war, sexism, racism.
 
But I've gotta remember there's good
 things about it too. 
But I've gotta remember there's good things about it too. 
 
Like the fact that none of that's
 happening to me! Score! Still,
Like the fact that none of that's happening to me! Score! Still,
 
though, it's hard not to be sad about
 it. How do y'all do it? I've
though, it's hard not to be sad about it. How do y'all do it? I've
 
been telling you guys terribly sad
 things this whole song; you
been telling you guys terribly sad things this whole song; you
 
haven't been sad at all. You've
 been--you've been happy--no,
haven't been sad at all. You've been--you've been happy--no,
 
you've been laughing. That's it,
 laughter, it's the key to
 everything.
you've been laughing. That's it, laughter, it's the key to everything.
 
It's the way to solve all the sadness
 in the world! I mean not for the 
It's the way to solve all the sadness in the world! I mean not for the 
 
people that are actually sad, but the
 people like us that've gotta
people that are actually sad, but the people like us that've gotta
 
fucking deal with them all the time.
 Being a comedian isn't being
fucking deal with them all the time. Being a comedian isn't being
 
an insensitive prick capitalizing on
 the most animalistic impulses
an insensitive prick capitalizing on the most animalistic impulses
 
of the public; it's being a hero. The
 world isn't sad. The world's
of the public; it's being a hero. The world isn't sad. The world's
C   Em   F   G
funny!       I'm a sociopath! 
[Estrofe]
         C                 F 
I saw an old man slip and fall 
Am                  G 
Hey, what a fucking idiot 
        C                      
I saw a woman at her daughter's
 F 
 funeral 
I saw a woman at her daughter's funeral 
Am        G 
Ha ha ha. Classic comedy. 
C                        F 
Everything that once was sad 
Am         G 
Is somehow funny now 
     C            F 
The Holocaust and 9/11 
Am                G 
That shit's funny 24/7, cuz 
E                  F         C   
Tragedy will be exclusively joked
   G 
 about 
Tragedy will be exclusively joked about 
            E                    F  
Because my empathy is bumming me out
    C 
 
Because my empathy is bumming me out 
          G        E 
Goodbye, sadness 
          C     F    C/G   Em    C 
Hello jokes.